Parents: Make Faith Your Highest Priority
By Monica Swanson
Research tells us that most Christians become Christians during their childhood. It’s much less likely for someone to make a commitment to Christ after they turn eighteen. Young children have precious, impressionable hearts, but as they grow up, things of the world creep in, and their hearts tend to harden.
While there’s always hope for anyone to begin a relationship with Jesus at any age, George Barna, renowned researcher, stated, “From the way I see it, our kids’ faith is either won or lost by age 13.”
Time is of the essence. And, I will add, your home is the best place to start.
That’s right. Before all this talk inspires you to hurry and sign your kids up for the next church event or Vacation Bible School, you need to know that research also tells us the best and most likely place for your kids to become Christians is at home—with you.
Other than God, no one loves your kids more than you do, and there’s no one they look to or trust more than their parents, even if they don’t show it. Your position in your child’s life uniquely qualifies you to be the best ones to lead them into faith.
So, you might ask, how do we do that? Here are two ways to start.
Model Your Own Faith Walk
The number one thing you can do to inspire your kids to want an authentic relationship with God is to model your own authentic relationship with him. Kids are watching and likely to model after all we do, and sooner or later they’ll know if you’re all talk or really believe what you’re teaching.
Let me be clear. Nothing will impact your child’s faith more than seeing you living out your own, genuine faith.
The stakes are high on this one. From the beginning, God gave parents the great privilege and responsibility of passing the baton of faith to their children. He commissioned his servant Moses to teach parents how to do this in the most intentional and authentic way in the book of Deuteronomy:
You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:7–9 ESV)
This is a picture of a lifestyle of genuine faith. Not of a “religious family” or a family that merely attends church. Instead, we see parents who “diligently teach” their kids about God and his Word, and then, well, talk about it a lot!
This topic is so near to my heart, because as my college boys visit for summer breaks or holidays, one of my favorite observations is how much they truly love to talk about Scripture. Around the dinner table or as we take family walks or hang out at the beach, it seems to never fail that someone will bring up a Bible topic from a recent sermon, podcast, or devotional time. And before you know it, we’re all deep in a great conversation about God’s Word.
But here’s the thing: this isn’t new. It didn’t start in college. It all started when my kids were young. With Dad and Mom including Scripture in their days and with Bible stories. Dad would tuck the boys in bed at night and practice one simple verse with them until they had it memorized. As they grew up, our kids had daily devotions and later got involved in small group Bible studies with their youth leaders at church.
This is a lot of Bible, and for good reason: our kids need a whole lot of God’s truth if we want any chance of counteracting the lies and darkness that will bombard them in this world. We desperately need God’s Word to sustain our faith.
Jesus said, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matt. 4:4). Dave and I know how much we need God’s Word, so we’ve tried to set this as a normal, daily part of our family life.
Communicate Your Faith Clearly
Though the most important part of raising kids to know and love God is to live out your own faith authentically, it’s still essential that you communicate the gospel message to them clearly. The gospel quite simply means “good news.” It is the story of God demonstrating his love for us by sending his own Son to rescue us from our sins. Kids need to know that this one truth holds the key to their everything that matters, now and forever.
Pop Quiz
If you had to communicate the gospel message to someone right now in under two minutes, could you do it? Go ahead and practice, I’ll wait . . .
So how’d you do?
If you didn’t do so well, no worries! I’d love to help you get comfortable doing it. The cool thing about the gospel message is that it’s so profound that theologians say we’ve still barely scratched the surface of it, yet it’s also simple enough for a child to understand!
Dave and I try to communicate God’s love to our kids as simply and often as we can. It’s taken me some practice, but it can be fun to learn and pass on to your kids.
An Actual Recent Conversation between My Son Levi and Me
- Me: “Levi, what if one of your friends asked you what it means to be a Christian?”
- Levi: [slight groan but also a smile] “Mom, we’ve done this a thousand times!”
- Me: “I know! But it’s fun, right? [*wink*] Go ahead! What would you say?”
- Levi: “I’d first tell them the Bible says God loves everyone.”
- Me: “Do you have a verse for that?”
- Levi: “Can you just let me finish?”
- Me: “Sorry.”
- Levi: “John 3:16 says, ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.’ ”
- Me: “Awesome. Go on.”
- Levi: “Next, I’d tell them we’re all sinners. That’s Romans . . . um . . .”
- Me: “It’s 3:23.”
- Levi: “Mom! Romans 3:23: ‘For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.’ ”
- Me: “Yes! Then what?”
- Levi: “Then I’d say that because we’re sinners, we all deserve death (Romans 6:23) but that God sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us. Then he rose to heaven and promised to come back and take us to heaven with him if we will accept his gift.”
- Me: “Awesome. You’re almost there. That means we need to . . .”
- Levi: “We need to confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead. If you do that you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).
- Me: [High five and a big hug]
So, yes, in our family we have gone over this a few times (maybe not a thousand, but . . .) so Levi not only knows it but can share it with a friend if he has the opportunity. Of course, his personal understanding and ability to articulate it will grow as he grows, but this is a solid start.
Sharing Your Faith with Your Family
Your family may use different words or Scriptures to share the gospel, so make it your own and natural for you and for the situation and person you’re sharing with. And, of course, help your child with what they can understand at their stage of life.
Dave and I didn’t want to assume our kids understood the gospel. We talk about it, and we talk about it being the most important thing they can ever embrace or share with someone. Then we make it conversational so that’s exactly how they see it. Kids learn quickly, and repetition is key!
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Taken from Raising Amazing: Bringing Up Kids Who Love God, Like Their Family, and Do the Dishes without Being Asked by Monica Swanson. Click here to learn more about this book.
Raising Amazing combines years of research with personal stories and step-by-step, practical advice to equip you to raise kids of godly character and deep faith who love their parents and remain close to their siblings for a lifetime.
Parents love to imagine their children growing up to be exceptional adults. But for many, raising exceptional adults seems a daunting task. Perhaps you're a new parent and don't know where to start, or maybe you're a parent of teens and feel like you've made a mess of it all. Or perhaps you're somewhere in between and just don't think you're good at the whole parenting thing.
Wherever you are in your parenting journey, there's hope for you. As a mom of four boys, Monica Swanson—also the author of Boy Mom and host of the popular Boy Mom podcast—knows firsthand the challenges and struggles of parenting and the kind of help that parents in the trenches are looking for.
In Raising Amazing, Monica gives you the tools and techniques you need to:
- Raise countercultural kids in the midst of a crazy world
- Train your children in the biblical character qualities you value most
- Find ways to help your kids navigate technology, sports, and dating
- Introduce your children to a vibrant life of faith that will draw them closer to God
- Cultivate strong sibling bonds and mend those that may already be struggling
- Develop healthy relationships with your children that will lead to friendship for a lifetime
- Encourage dads with a "note to dads" at the end of each chapter written by Monica's husband
This isn't just a book; it's a fresh perspective on parenting that may just change the trajectory of your family forever.
Monica Swanson is a popular blogger (monicaswanson.com), host of the Boy Mom podcast, and author of Boy Mom. Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, Monica graduated from Pepperdine University and earned her teaching credential from Linfield College. Monica has a bachelor's degree in sports medicine and has spent much of her life as a personal coach and trainer. She and her doctor-husband, Dave, have one college graduate son, two boys in college, and one son still at home. The Swanson family enjoys growing tropical fruit at their family home in the country on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii.
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