How We Became Homeschoolers

By Monica Swanson

If you’d told Dave and me when we first married that we’d be homeschooling four children, we’d have labeled you crazy and quickly found somewhere else we needed to be. Homeschooling wasn’t something we’d even discussed. Both of us grew up going to public schools in small towns in the Pacific Northwest.

We met and married in our midtwenties, then spent four years in Portland, Oregon, where Dave was going to medical school. I had studied sports medicine in college, but while Dave was in medical school, I got my teacher credentials and taught in our local public school.

Our first son, Josiah, was born before Dave’s final year of medical school. We then moved to Hawaii for his medical residency program just before Josiah turned two and our second son, Jonah, was born. By the time Dave’s three-year residency program was over, we had three active young boys.

Though our living situation was small and simple, we took advantage of a fenced-in yard and strolls to the park. Daily trips to the beach became our sanity savers. When Dave was offered a job at a local hospital, we decided to make Hawaii home. While I missed the Pacific Northwest (autumn! and family and friends . . .), we saw the warm, laid-back island lifestyle—along with the opportunity to spend a lot of time unplugged and in nature—as an incredibly healthy way to raise young boys.

Looking back, I don’t remember talking about or even thinking a lot about schooling options for our kids in their early years. The fall before our third son, Luke, came along, we figured that our then-four-year-old, Josiah, could use a little mental stimulation. (Or maybe we wanted more socialization for him? Or perhaps the grandparents had suggested it?) So we signed him up for part-time preschool. The next year he moved on to kindergarten, and the year after that he went to first grade.

His younger brother Jonah began preschool as well. I was home alone with our third son, Luke, when I finally started to dream about how my life would look when all three boys were in school. Yes, I was crazy about my boys, but they were loud and messy and full of energy. I fantasized about a few kid-free hours at home on a regular basis. Maybe lunch with a friend? (Or at least an uninterrupted trip to the bathroom?) I had put my time in with three boys back-to-back. Plus, I had never considered not sending them to school. It hadn’t even crossed my mind.

An Unexpected Request

Both Dave and I had grown up with moms who were full-time homemakers, and I loved having my mom there for me when I got out of school each day. I had always dreamed that one day my life might look a lot like my mom’s. Mom grew beautiful flowers and baked fresh bread and did such a great job of keeping our home tidy and welcoming that I might have mistakenly thought her job was easy. (Now I know better.) I would smile to myself as I imagined welcoming Dave home from work to clean counters and a happy, rested wife.

I was also aware that with medical school loans hanging over our heads and the high cost of living in Hawaii, we could use some extra income. I even glamorized how that might look. (Maybe I’d dress up for work? And get my nails done?) Or, I remember dreaming, what if I could write a blog and find a way to work from home? I had plenty of ideas for how my life might look when the boys went off to school. But however it might look, I was convinced that my future was looking bright. And clean. And quiet.

So you can probably imagine my reaction when Josiah came home from first grade one day and, over apple juice and a granola bar, threw me this curveball: “Mom, would you homeschool me next year?”

Wait. What?

My eyes grew big and my heart hit an extra beat, but I laughed and smiled as I tried to brush it off as silly talk. “Homeschool? Why would you think of that? You are so smart, and you do great in school!”

He looked down, and I realized it wasn’t silly talk to him. “Some of the kids in Sunday school are homeschooled. And they said it’s really fun.”

Fun? I thought. For whom?

My mind quickly swirled like the current in our ocean. Weren’t homeschoolers a little ... odd? I remembered a particular homeschooling family I’d known when I was growing up. They could have been the inspiration for a Saturday Night Live skit. The mom wore a denim jumper and had long, stringy hair. Not kidding. And the kids? They were all just a bit ... off. Awkward. Extra pale. I hadn’t thought of them in years, but they were the first image to pop into my mind at my son’s mention of homeschooling.

“Hey, Josiah, why don’t you go outside and play with your brothers before we have to go to soccer?” I suggested, hoping to end this conversation before it progressed any further.

Josiah obediently let it go and joined his brothers outside.

But I couldn’t let it go. Later that night when Dave came home, I told him about Josiah’s unexpected question.

Dave brushed it off. “Homeschool? Can you just do that . . . like, legally? I don’t know—I think kids need to be around other kids. I don’t think doing school at home would be a good idea. Plus, you’re always burned-out on the kids. There’s no way you could handle it.”

Ouch. That one hurt, but he was right. If I couldn’t keep it together from 7:00 to 8:00 a.m., when I was getting everyone ready for school, there was no way I could have my kids home with me all day.

Right?

Or could I?

I loved those boys so much. It hurt my heart to think of how much I loved them. Maybe I could homeschool them. But how? What do you teach a seven-year-old? All day long? Jonah wasn’t even reading yet. There was no way I could teach a kid to read. Could I? Even with teaching credentials under my belt, teaching kids at home felt like an entirely different undertaking.

And homeschooling would make them strange, right? And me too? (The denim jumper look just wasn’t my thing.)

Oh, and then there was college. I would never know how to prepare a kid for college. Never mind. This was all just crazy talk.

The anxious thoughts kept coming, though, one after the other after the other. Followed by questions. Fears. Doubts. But the idea wouldn’t leave my mind, and gradually, over the next few weeks, those negative thoughts turned to curiosity. And, strangely enough, a bit of excitement began to creep in. Finally, I decided to at least pray about it. And I asked Dave to pray as well.

By the following fall, my two oldest sons were doing school at home—with me. (Son number three, Luke, had started preschool but would eventually join us at home as well.) I still had a lot of questions and even more self-doubt. We didn’t know what we were doing at the time, but now I know—we were becoming homeschoolers.

Official Homeschoolers

More than seventeen years have passed since we began our homeschool journey. After our initial decision to bring our kids home, we continued to homeschool all three boys, and then a few years later, we added another student to our “classroom”—our fourth son, Levi. The oldest three boys have all graduated from high school, and not one of them is awkward or extra pale. Josiah, the one who started it all, graduated from college, backpacked through Europe with a friend, secured a great job, and is now financially independent and busy adulting in Santa Barbara, California. (He’s also one of my very best friends.)

Between that first day of considering homeschooling and today, all my questions were eventually answered. Not all at once, but a little at a time over time. I did teach my kids to read (it’s not that hard), and I found out that “schoolwork” doesn’t have to take all day. (In fact, it shouldn’t take all day.) I found great resources to teach from, and when we came to subjects that were beyond me, we used online classes and co-ops. Along the way, we also found a great community to do life and school with. All my fears were put to rest.

Instead of being overwhelmed by the kids being at home all day, I was pleasantly surprised to find that homeschooling was less stressful than the one-hour morning rush to get ready for school. I didn’t miss the homework battles (there was no more homework), paper signing, or lunch packing. Over time we found a natural rhythm to our days, and I experienced the joy of seeing my kids light up when they learned about the solar system or volcanoes or grasped tens and hundreds place value. (That last one was harder than I expected.)

Snuggling up with the boys to read stories about explorers or missionaries became one of my favorite parts of the day (and theirs too, they tell me now). And I learned that while a homeschool classroom could include desks and chairs, it more often looked like the kitchen counter or a blanket in the grass or the back seat of the car as we headed to the beach for an afternoon surf with Dad.

Dave’s homeschool skepticism faded, too, as he was able to spend more quality time with his boys and we were able to travel to see extended family when most kids were in school. Then he really became a fan of our homeschooling life when he saw the character of our boys developing free from the daily influence of other kids, teachers we didn’t choose or agree with, and all the other “stuff” that goes on when your kids are away from you the majority of the day.

No, I never got my quiet home, and lunch with friends has required some strategic planning. But I got a lot of other things, including the peace of knowing I gave my boys an incredible gift with our homeschooling. I also learned to teach—and parent—with dignity and confidence. I realized that, alongside their dad and with God’s help, I had what it takes to raise up these kids to become life-ready young adults. Sure, I did most of it in the comfort of sweatpants, not a cute business suit, but I’m pretty sure that was a win too.

And eventually I did start that blog. Which led to books and a podcast. All while continuing to homeschool. And, well, here I am, encouraging you to join me in this homeschool journey.

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Taken from Becoming Homeschoolers: Give Your Kids a Great Education, a Strong Family, and a Life They'll Thank You for Later, by Monica Swanson. Click here to learn more about his book.

Monica Swanson helps you navigate your real-world concerns about school, culture, and what it takes to create an amazing homeschool experience that you and your kids will never regret!

If you've ever wondered whether you have what it takes to homeschool your children, look no further. Parenting author, podcaster, and homeschool mom Monica Swanson is here to tell you: you can do it. In fact, it can be the most fun, family-unifying, character-building, life-equipping experience you and your children will ever have.

Becoming Homeschoolers tackles your legitimate doubts and fears about homeschooling, as well as the questions you want answered before you commit—questions like where to start and how to choose a curriculum, build social skills, teach what you're not good at, and prepare for college. With humor and encouragement, Monica weaves her own story of homeschooling her four boys with step-by-step, practical advice on how to:

• Assess whether home education is right for you and your children
• Establish a foundation of faith in your everyday homeschool routine
• Find socialization opportunities such as sports and extracurricular activities
• Care for yourself and your marriage even as you spend more time each day with your kids
• Tackle the practical side of homeschooling, including standardized tests, transcripts, college readiness, and navigating education requirements

It's time to trade fear for empowerment and insecurity for confidence as you live out your own story of becoming homeschoolers.

Monica Swanson is a popular blogger (monicaswanson.com), host of the Monica Swanson Podcast (formerly the Boy Mom podcast), and author of Boy Mom and Raising Amazing.

Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, Monica graduated from Pepperdine University and earned her teaching credential from Linfield College. Monica has a bachelor's degree in sports medicine and has spent much of her life as a personal coach and trainer. She and her doctor-husband, Dave, have one college graduate son, one son in college, another son surfing professionally and taking college classes online, and a twelve-year-old son homeschooled by Monica. The Swanson family enjoys growing tropical fruit at their family home in the country on the North Shore of Oahu, Hawaii.